
“After I gave birth to my third child, the first person who met our newest family member was my mother-in-law. I watched her fall in love with my baby and I was once again so proud to see this happen.
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It wasn’t until my mother-in-law was about to leave that it hit me. Did I become invisible after giving birth? Was I just a person behind the baby and not next to it?
She ran up to me and said, “Oh I am so sorry. I don’t know if I said it clearly, but great job mama! I am so proud of YOU! You made this baby, how are YOU feeling? Are YOU okay?” I matter too. I am a person too. I am valuable. I am the baby’s whole world and I need to be seen so I don’t lose myself.
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When do we become invisible? Is it the moment when people say, “I am coming to see the baby…”? The words from my mother-in-law made all the difference—she saw me too. With all the emotions I had, I needed to be seen. I needed to be held. I don’t need loads of attention, I want people to be with my child but I need to be held as well, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.
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Because here’s the thing, in 10 years the baby will not remember who first held them, but the mother will forever remember who held her.
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It takes a village to raise a child, but I believe it takes a village to raise a mother as well. Becoming a mother is always a new experience—whether it’s your first or fourth child.”
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